(Funny tweets) Instead of Zillow emailing me to say how much my home dropped in value, they mailed a book of matches and a oily rag.

@ResideCharlotte: Instead of Zillow emailing me to say how much my home dropped in value, they mailed a book of matches and a oily rag.


@sohear: My new fridge/freezer keeps looking at me in silence. We need to break the ice.


@LookItsBRay: Her look is less "do me" & more "ouch, my neck hurts and these heels are killing me".

@laughstooeasily: One if these days I'm going to remember not to stretch my arms up into the ceiling fan. Today is not that day.

@ChrisThilk: Every time someone shortens "Thanks" to "THX" George Lucas gets $.05.

@thordora: I'm not mean but...how do you strap yourself to an overpass?